Funny search terms: October 2015 – Jan 2016

These are all terms people searched for that somehow brought them to my site!


download romance novel sweet disorder by rose lerner [fuck you pirates is all I have to say about that. October was a sadly unfunny months for search terms!]


one special feature like thorn prickle in lilly
today hasband looking waif sex brighton [???]
petticoats that rustle
how many books has theresa romain written [9 not counting novellas, if I’m counting correctly]


short story on smell of sweet and sound of coins
forced to be lillie the maid by my wife
who is called as a rough diamond and must first be polished before he shines by dryden? [answer: chaucer; honestly dryden really embarrassed himself with that one]
turkey with pineapple recipe [I include this because I have no idea how this brought anyone to my site, I would NEVER cook that]


i never eat muscatel grapes meanimg [answer: it’s a quote from the count of monte cristo]
meaning of a man ain t nothing but a man [i get this one all the time! how many people are googling this and why??? it just means that a man ain’t nothing but a man, it’s not code!]
putting butter choclate on breasts kissng story [BUTTER CHOCOLATE????]

Funny search terms: May – September 2015

These are all terms people searched for that somehow brought them to my site!


short sweet stories about sisters
dear brother! please forgive me i am a sister-in-law with bursting tits


a short article of a character who rose from poverty [someone is doing their homework! and doesn’t want to spend more effort than necessary on it]
how does the poet of the clod and pebble make the poem moving [ditto, ffs]
[AUTHOR, NAME REDACTED] married [I know buddy, she’s a babe]
indirect quotes for lady and smart friends


kevin spacey cigar [took me a minute to figure out how they ended up here but it was this post]
regency joke what was a sponge cake
his cock rose expectantly story [this is not specific enough, searcher!]


malfoy loss
magnificent speeches
he put his hands round her waist cupping her breast over her blouse he whispered i going to undress you touch and taste you tonight he carried her to his bed


sweet stories of chad is a vampire and using is fangs on taylor neck telling her it won t hurt a new one [!!!]
fox hunting cruelty paintings [ONLY THE CRUEL ONES OKAY]

Funny search terms: Dec 2014 – April 2015

These are all terms people searched for that somehow brought them to my site!


nicholas and his brother fall in love with the same woman novel
iron cage on a tower in paris


author rose lerner jewish? [awwww! I have done similar searches SO MANY TIMES. I hope they discovered that yes, I am Jewish.]
short story about hungry hans who ate the pig he was supposed to be roasting
scarlet pimpernel fanfiction erotic stories [I hear you, searcher]


isolde drinks the draught and guinevere explanation
someone making cakes [this is a pleasantly vague search. Did you just want to watch videos of people making cakes? That does sound soothing.]
serena can t believe the dick size between her thighs


at first percy was glad that he stayed
edwardian man on holiday
reformed rakes in history [OMG OMG yes I want to know the REAL stories of history’s reformed rakes not these watered down romances]


cuckold symbology
edwardian sports

Funny search terms Sept – Nov 2014

These are all terms people searched for that somehow brought them to my site.


best lesbian romantic couple photos only [awww]
heyer s characters true behaved to their time [hahaha hope you weren’t looking for confirmation when you came here because I STRONGLY DISAGREE]
gaze wandering over her intimately
if you need somebody but you got nothing
voldemort slaps lucius
henry ii shame on a conquered king [I probably did mention this somewhere because they are my favorite dying words EVER]


house of commons opera hat
historical crushes
roger moore with cigar and glass [I know exactly the photo you mean, searcher]
name of some website to lerner chemistry for her main [???]


unrealistic expectations fictional men
the pie chart inventor [I was actually helpful on this one, because I DID post about the invention of the pie chart!]
mr.snively website [intriguing…]
angry responses to ronsard poem when you are old [I hear you, searcher]
how to tell someone you like them with a message on a rose

Funny search terms Jan.-Aug. 2014

I think I need to start doing semi-regular posts about search terms people use to find my site! Some of my favorites from August:

what mean henry with a man aint nothing but a man [it’s like poetry]
let s see paul allen s card [Wooo only the best scene in American Psycho!]
how can you live with yourself lucius gift [I assume that last person actually meant to type “gif” but I quite like the name “Lucius Gift.” I may have to use that one of these days.]


gout funny quotes [Nothing funnier than gout, amirite?]
ivanhoe parody [THERE ARE SO MANY]
the art of governing a wife [Was this person actually searching for my post? Or do they…want to know about the art of governing a wife? Or what?]
voldemort slaps lucius [seriously, hilarious Harry Potter searches were always the best on my fanfiction site too. What is it about Harry Potter that makes for such amazing google searches?]
of course she is my favorite aunt she is freaking awesome [I don’t really want context honestly]
harlequin covers fabio [hard to see how my site could even have been in the first ten pages of results for this? how in depth was this person’s search?]


heroine interview sex stories [what is this person looking for? is the heroine a reporter? is the sex story in the form of an interview?]
historical romance with blond hero [awww]


tumblr logan echolls meta [why does it have to be on tumblr??]
roselerner penn badgley [this person legit appears to be looking for some post I made on tumblr about Penn Badgley!! I have never been so flattered!]
rebecca stronger than rowena [hey hey the ladies don’t have to be in competition]
when a husband would sell his wife would she wear a halter [!!!!!! WELL THERE’S A FAMOUS ROWLANDSON ILLUSTRATION BUT I DON’T THINK IT WAS A REQUIREMENT]


roger moore cocktail glass [this search term describes my sexuality to a T]
philosemite creepy [you get me, googler]
corinthians/aliens [?]
which sonnet says my love is nothing like a rose [I’m impressed this person actually clicked through to something on my site because I assume they want “My mistress’s eyes are nothing like the sun” and it’s the first hit for this search]
a man aint nothing but a man mean [okay is this the same person months earlier, or is this a common concern?]


holy roman emperor frederick 111 and gingerbread
romance novels giving women unrealistic expectations [FUCK YOU]
she trapped him under her skirt and smother him [???????]
death by hounds [!!!!!!!]